The Hardest Transition I Ever Made

Written By Developer Designer

Transitions can make even the most accomplished people question themselves. Here’s what I learned when I stepped away from the only career I thought I knew.

For most of my life, basketball defined me.

I played it. I studied it. I coached it.

So when my playing career ended, stepping into college coaching felt like the natural next step. Not just because I loved basketball—but because, if I’m honest, I believed it was the only thing I was truly good at.

Playing and Coaching became my identity.

For twelve years, I poured everything into that role. The long seasons, the travel, the recruiting, the practices, the constant pursuit of helping a team improve—it was a life I understood and one where I felt confident in my abilities.

But life has a way of quietly shifting beneath you.

I got married, and the reality of coaching life meant constant travel. My spouse and I were rarely in the same place at the same time. After many conversations, we realized something needed to change.

And if I was really honest with myself, there had always been a quiet question in the back of my mind:

What would life look like outside of basketball?

So we made a decision.
I stepped away from coaching.

Even though it was the right decision for our life, it was also one of the most unsettling moments of my career. I had always been an achiever—someone who set goals and pursued them relentlessly. I knew how to work hard, how to compete, how to improve.

But suddenly, the path in front of me wasn’t clear.

For the first time in a long time, I didn’t know what the next goal was. And even harder than that, I wasn’t sure who I was without basketball.

What bothered me most, at least at first, was the thought of what people might think.

Here I was—Miss New York State Basketball, a Duke University women’s basketball alumna, a coach with several Coach of the Year honors, and a seven-time Hall of Fame inductee—stepping away from something I had spent my entire life building.

I assumed people would think I was crazy.

For nearly two years, I tried different things. Nothing felt stable. Nothing felt like something I could fully commit to. Not because I lacked work ethic—but because fear kept showing up.

My inner critic had a lot to say.

What if this doesn’t work?
What if basketball was the only thing you were good at?
What if you try something new and fail?

So I stayed in a space that many people in transition know well—trying things, but never fully going all in.

Eventually, I made a decision that changed everything.

I hired a coach.

Working with a coach didn’t give me a roadmap overnight. What it gave me was something far more valuable: perspective.

Through thoughtful questions and honest reflection, my coach helped me see something I had completely overlooked. The skills that helped me succeed as an athlete and coach had never disappeared.

Discipline.
Resilience.
The willingness to learn.
The ability to fail and get back up again.

Those weren’t just basketball skills.

They were life skills.

The arena might change, but the capabilities remain the same.

And slowly, something shifted in me. I realized that building a new career wasn’t so different from improving as an athlete. You step into the arena. You practice. You learn. You fail. You adjust. And you try again.

Over time, confidence returns—not because everything is certain, but because you remember that you already know how to grow.

Interestingly, research supports what many people experience through coaching. A study published in the International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring (Grant, 2014) found that individuals who received coaching showed significant improvements in goal attainment, resilience, and overall well-being. Another study conducted by the International Coaching Federation reported that 80% of people who work with a coach experience increased self-confidence, while over 70% report improved work performance and relationships.

Coaching doesn’t hand you the answers.

What it does is help you rediscover the strengths and capabilities that may have been buried under fear, uncertainty, or transition.

That experience is what ultimately led me to become a mindset coach myself.

Today, I work with female professionals and athletes who are struggling with their inner critic and navigating their own transitions—whether that means shifts within sports or stepping away from sports, moving into leadership roles, changing careers, or simply feeling stuck between where they are and where they believe they could be.

Transitions can shake your confidence, even if you have a long track record of success.

But one thing I’ve learned is this:

You are rarely starting from scratch.

More often, you are starting from experience.

The skills that helped you succeed before—your work ethic, resilience, curiosity, and courage—are still there. Sometimes it just takes the right conversation, the right questions, and the right support to see them clearly again.

If you find yourself in a season of transition, uncertainty, or growth, I’d love to connect with you.

You can schedule a conversation here:
https://missy-coaching.themissywest.com/book-call
Your next chapter may not look like the last one—but that doesn’t mean you aren’t ready for it.

P.S. Many of the women I work with are high-achievers—female professionals navigating career transitions and collegiate athletes learning how to crush their inner critic and compete with confidence again. If you're feeling stuck, uncertain about your next step, or ready to trust yourself more fully, coaching can help you move forward with clarity and courage.

Courage up,
Missy

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