A mentor once asked, “who is steering your ship?” It got me thinking…
That thought and that image stayed with me — because it applies so clearly to our lives.
Those passengers don’t personally know the captain, but they automatically trust that this person will lead them to their expected destination.
This idea got me thinking about advice we seek from others. How often do we simply trust the advice given to us without knowing much about the life, intentions or experiences of the person offering it? So often, we easily trust that people will lead us down the right path, the path that will help us achieve our goals, our dreams, and get us to our destination.
But I am going to challenge you here by asking you to take a good hard look at:
Who is steering your ship?
And whose advice are you actually listening to?
As I continue to build my business, I’m very intentional about where I seek guidance. I’m not asking someone who has never built a business how to scale one.
As a former professional basketball player, I didn’t ask someone who’s never played the game what it takes to be great. Nor was I listening to someone who talked a good game but never put in the work or made the sacrifices necessary to improve.
As I sit here writing this newsletter, I am sitting on my porch, watching a massive cruise ship float past my house. I live on the channel near a port so I get the joy of seeing these massive ships come and go a few times a week.
Each time, I pause and appreciate the view. Hundreds — maybe thousands — of people on board. Different stories. Different backgrounds. Different reasons for being there. Yet every single one of them is headed in the same direction. For this particular cruise, they are headed to the Caribbean (or at least they HOPE they are).
Like every cruise, there is a captain - and that captain has a destination in mind and every decision they make determines where that ship ends up.
If the goal is the Caribbean, but the captain has a different agenda, a different plan, or a different destination altogether… that ship is going somewhere very different than expected.
And when it docks at the next port, the passengers might find themselves somewhere they never intended to be.
And as someone who values resilience — who wants to push through obstacles instead of quitting when things get hard — I’m not seeking advice from people who walk away every time something gets uncomfortable…or better yet, someone who is constantly complaining and blaming others for their circumstances all the while unwilling to look within themselves to make some changes.
Hear me out…….THE VOICES YOU LISTEN TO MATTER!
Here’s the part we don’t always realize:
The wrong voices don’t just influence your decisions — they feed your inner critic.
They increase doubt.
They amplify fear.
They normalize quitting.
They accept and encourage excuses
They make hesitation feel responsible.
They can slowly chip away at your courage.
Sometimes the advice we’re getting is actually pulling us away from the person we’re trying to become. It can lead us to a destination we have no desire to be at. When that happens, anxiety grows, confidence shrinks and the inner critic gets louder. Suddenly, you’re questioning paths you once felt called to take.
This is your reminder to take a close, honest look at who’s steering your ship.
Who do you go to for advice?
Do they live in alignment with what you want for yourself?
Do they challenge you to grow — or encourage you to stay comfortable?
Are they cheering for your vision — or protecting you from it?
Not everyone deserves a seat.
Some passengers mean well, but they don’t know the road you’re trying to travel. Others may have their own fears, agendas, or limitations — and unintentionally hand them to you as “advice.”
You don’t need to remove people from your life with anger or judgment. But you do get to decide who gets access to influence your thinking and help direct you down the path.
When the wrong people are steering, the inner critic thrives.
When the right people are driving — clarity, courage, and confidence follows.
This Week’s Mindset Fuel
Below are two resources that reinforce the importance of who you listen to — and how outside voices shape your confidence and self-trust.
The Confidence Gap — Russ Harris
📘 Book
The Confidence Gap — Russ Harris
Harris explains how fear and self-doubt are normal, but how listening to unhelpful voices — both internal and external — keeps us stuck. This book reinforces acting in alignment with values rather than fear-based advice.
Ted Talk: Why You Should Define Your Fears Instead of Your Goals, Tim Ferriss
The hard choices -- what we most fear doing, asking, saying -- are very often exactly what we need to do. How can we overcome self-paralysis and take action?
Fear Means It’s Go Time: Action Step
Take five minutes this week and write this down:
Who do I consistently seek advice from?
Do these people live the life — or demonstrate the qualities — I want to develop?
Is this advice helping me grow… or helping me stay comfortable?
Then ask yourself:
Who are 3 new people who would be great to ask for advice from?
That’s your move.
In Closing…
You don’t need everyone’s approval.
You don’t need advice from people who aren’t on your path.
And you don’t need to stay on a bus that’s heading in the wrong direction.
Choose your driver wisely.
Your future depends on it.
I’m always here supporting, encouraging and cheering you on!
Courage up,
-Missy
If you’ve noticed your inner critic getting louder, more anxious, or more convincing lately, my online course Crush the Inner Critic; Transforming Self-Talk For Professional Growth will help you build the internal tools to filter outside noise and trust yourself again.
Starting this month, I’m coaching clients one-on-one who are ready to stop outsourcing their confidence and start taking ownership of their growth. If that’s you, reach out to me at Missy@themissywest.com to set up an inquiry call.
You’re reading this because you chose to download my resource guide or subscribe to my newsletter. I’m so glad you’re here. My hope is that with each read, you walk away with tools that help you show up with more courage each week. I know your time is valuable, so I truly appreciate you being here and taking a few minutes to read this note—one I’ll be sending your way every Tuesday.
Want to learn more? Check out my website
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Business Address:
ORCA Leadership, LLC
PO Box 172116
Tampa FL 33672
